First things first – I think they should change this site to FWW (Four Week Wait). Anyone who has been struggling with any type of infertility knows that it’s not only two weeks each month that you’re waiting. First you wait for AF to go away, then you wait for signs of ovulation, then you wait for signs of pregnancy, and then you wait for the BFP to show up! Anyway, back to BFP story . . .
HISTORY:
DH and I have been actively trying for #2 for at least a year and a half – although we have not used BC for over 10 years. We were diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” which is probably one of the most annoying terms I’ve ever heard. In my case it meant that they made me go through a ton of tests, including an HSG which is as fun as stabbing out your eye with a fork. After going through tests and fertility Dr.’s we were put on clomid and conceived our DS on the 6th and final round. He is now 4 and we are so excited to give him a baby brother or sister!
TRYING FOR THIS BFP:
After meeting with yet another fertility Dr. in February of this year, we were sent for the usual tests (blood work, semen analysis). He would not give me clomid again because after so many rounds it ups your risk of ovarian cancer . . . although really at this point I was like ovarian cancer, who cares? I’ll take that chance to have another baby :) Yes, you really get that crazy after TTC for so long! Anyway, when he mentioned that the next step was IUI, I was fine with that until he said they would make me do the HSG again – WTF? Sadistic bastards! Only a male that has never been subjected to that type of pain would even consider putting someone through that again – especially when the first test came back normal. BTW, if a male ever had to undergo a procedure that involved their family jewels I’m sure that general anaesthesia would be involved!
Ok, so the next few months are like so many of you reading this right now. . . obsess over TTC, watch your friends get pregnant or have babies, wishing/praying it’s finally your turn to get a BFP and then being disappointed month after month.
I really tried to take the advice of all the people saying that if you relax and not worry about it – it will happen. Epic Fail! I read each and every TWW BFP story (sometimes twice), googled every possible “early pregnancy” symptom and basically was borderline straight jacket material. Let’s just say that when you start lifting up your shirt in the work washroom to check if you’ve got more veins on your chest or bigger/darker nipples you’ve crossed a line into crazy town. Oh, and just so you know – you can probably type in any symptom + pregnancy and you will find something that says it’s an early pregnancy symptom – trust me! Some of my searches included; itchy skin, sweet smelling urine and even a blue ring around areola . . . I know. I know. All I can say is that I plead temporary insanity.
The last couple months I prayed that God would either let me be pregnant soon or help me be ok with not having another child. Once again I tried to stop searching for symptoms but who am I kidding? I was still secretly wishing each month would be the month. A week before AF would arrive I’d be counting down the days until I could POAS and mentally preparing my BFP story for the TWW.
THE SYMPTOMS (OR LACK THEREOF)
I really enjoyed reading the DPO stories of other people who got their BFP so I could compare my symptoms and basically convince myself that I had a chance of being pregnant too. I even started writing my symptoms down each month. This month I didn’t! Of course that is when I’d get a BFP. So these are really a best guess of the few symptoms I had and when they occurred.
CD 8 & 12 – BD (only 2 times this month and I marked them on a calendar so these dates are accurate)
A few days later I had a lot of soreness really low in my pelvis. This was definitely out of the ordinary for me and it was really low pain, which of course I googled :). Anyway it lasted a few hours one night and I thought it was strange because it seemed too late to be ovulation and too early to be implantation. Best guess? Maybe I O’d early and implanted early?
About a week before AF was due I had two symptoms that were out of the ordinary. One morning I had the slightest nose bleed. I have never had a nose bleed in my life and this wouldn’t really even classify as one as it was only a bit of blood but still noted it anyway.
A few days later my skin was itchy all day (googled it) but then the next day I was fine. Today I am itchy again.
I also noticed a blue ring around my areola a few days ago which I’m sure wasn’t there before (googled it) but couldn’t see any difference in the veins of my chest so I wrote it off as nothing.
Had a couple dreams that I was pregnant which happened last month as well but never happened any of the other months.
BBs didn’t start to feel heavier until around the time AF would show up and that is normal for me so thought nothing of that. Also, I had no CM changes so figured I was totally out this month.
What made me test? I had a few very light AF cramps that usually come a day before or the same day AF arrives and that happened a couple days in a row. I was officially “late” so I thought what the hell I’ll buy a test and POAS. Trying not to get my hopes up, I looked at the stick and BFP right away!
Now I start a whole new wait and try to stay sane until I know this is a sticky bean. So thankful to God for this miracle and praying for a healthy baby. I am sending baby dust to all of you still TTC and really hope you get your BFP too. Keep the faith!